Wednesday, July 6, 2011

"Is Kyle slow?" - Teen Mom Recap, Week 1

Normally on Wednesday I would be doing a "What I'm Loving" post, and that's kind of what this is....except for I am only discussing one topic that I sure am loving this week!

The return of....

Yes, yes, I know.  Please do not lecture me about my tendency to watch trash TV, as I am well aware it rots my brain.  I justify watching Teen Mom by telling myself it's a true, honest portrayal for young girls of how your life can change if you have an unexpected pregnancy....but really, I just like the drama.  This was a big week as it was the season premiere, and we are back with the original cast - Maci, Amber, Farrah, and Catelyn.  It's great that MTV brought them back because we've been watching these girls long enough to have a vested interest in their life stories.

Maci is still living in Nashville with Kyle and commuting to take little Bentley to see his dad Ryan.  Can anyone explain to me why she does all the driving back and forth?  If that jealous rat Ryan was my baby daddy, he would be putting some miles on that BMW you see parked in his garage.  Anyway, Maci finds out this week that Ryan's child support is not going into her bank account and she wastes no time getting legal on him.  Thankfully it ends up being a banking glitch and the child support shows up.  Now Maci is wanting Kyle to meet Ryan and Kyle is refusing.  Red flag, Maci, red flag!

Amber's back and she's just as much of a hot mess as ever.  She's dating this new guy, Chris (an equally hot mess), and good ol Gary shows up and wants to get back together.  Amber makes one of the smarter decisions she's made in her life and decides to go back to Gary to have their family back together again.  Well, we know how well that works out (ominous foreshadowing!)

Farrah has now decided that her boobs aren't big enough to support her fledgling modeling career and of course the obvious next step is to call around to different banks until she finds one who will give her a loan for breast implants.  Yes, I'm serious.  The rest of her segments in the episode depict her pain and suffering post-surgery.  I don't even want to waste any more of my life talking about her.

Tyler and Catelyn are sitting at Catelyn's house when she realizes, oh, someone has tried to pry my bedroom window open.  And look, someone has actually pried my younger brother's window open, and what's that, Mom?  You say that a door was open when you got back home earlier today?  GEEZ.  Let's call the police and report a break-in.  So Tyler & Catelyn decide to make lemonade out of those lemons and get an apartment together.  Of course, Tyler's mom is not overly pleased but let's be honest here....they've had a baby.  I think the jig is up.

Most Awesome Moment: Ryan, Maci's baby daddy, sending her a text while sitting right across from her: "Is Kyle slow?"  Later, Ryan claims, "I've had hundreds of people ask me."

Dumbest Moment: It's a tie between Farrah and Maci.  You see one clip of Farrah tossing pizzas at her job and complaining about making ends meet as a single mom......but then she decides it's a great idea to get a loan for breast implants.  Do you think she will be able to write this off as a business expense?  Then after Ryan calls Maci's current boyfriend Kyle "slow," Maci tells Kyle about this and then complains when Kyle gets mad at Ryan.  Sheesh, haven't you kids learned anything by now?

Best Performance: I have to go with Tyler & Catelyn for this week.  I would have hoped they had noticed earlier that the house had been broken into, but I suppose that's just as much Catelyn's mom's fault, bless that woman's heart.  She needs help.  Anyway, Tyler & Catelyn didn't make any stupid decisions this week, and Catelyn's younger brother has a child mullet, so I'll give them the award.  Also, has anyone else noticed how much Tyler looks like Justin Bieber?

Cliffhanger: Will Amber get sheets for her bed?!!?  I can't tell you how much seeing Gary sitting on a mattress without sheets disgusts me, and not because of Gary!